Monday, March 24, 2008

Zer vill be no toasters!!!


Attention please.
A Northern police force in which I serve has decided in its infinite wisdom that toasters are a dangerous fire risk.
In a covert overnight swoop all toasters have been removed from offices and KITCHENS!
They have been confiscated and are currently impounded at an undisclosed secure location.
An immediate appeal was lodged by officers and staff in protest at no longer being able to partake of toasted teacakes and the like.
However, the ACC of said force said "I'm chair of the health and safety committee and the decision stands. They're dangerous pieces of equipment and pose a potential fire risk so you can't have em back!"
Apparently we've been told to use the grill inside the oven.
Wait a cotton picking minute....
Oven!!!
They get quite hot don't they....?
SHHH!!!
I think the committee heard that.
Next week Ovengate!

6 comments:

Noddy said...

I haven't seen an oven in a cop shop for years! If you can't microwave it, forget it.

Area Trace No Search said...

Franky - good to see you posting again mate, I like your blog when it's going.

Have to admit I can count the nicks I know that have an actual oven.

Annette said...

Glad your back, missed you.
I would think an oven is more dangerous than a toaster, you could forget to switch it off.
A toaster will switch itself off.

AnneDroid said...

I heard a rumour our jail was going to ban fridges - staff ones at teapoints and prisoners' ones in the wings - on health and safety grounds.

Our issue is: do we all want to die of food poisoning because our milk, cold meat, tuna, whatever is off due to not being refridgerated, or would we rather die of food poisoning because of the fungus, mould etc growing inside the never-cleaned-out-by anyone fridges? It's a close call.

If the criminals don't get us, the toasters/fridges will. We're doomed. We're all doomed.

Anonymous said...

We had this too. All because some tw*t in CID no less, decided to make toast on their desk - set the thing on fire and now EVERYONE has had their toasters confiscated - included those of us who were able to use them responsbibly in the designated kitchens. Sometimes I really do wonder how these people get a job. ANY of 'em!

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