Friday, March 28, 2008

Bring back Gene Hunt

With all the kerfuffle going on over on the Guvs site about Ali doodah and Twining reminding everyone that he's black, I thought I'd mention something far more important.

Ashes to ashes has finished and won't be back till next year!

Aaaarrrgh!!!!!

I can't be doing without the Gene Genie for a whole year! He's the best TV cop ever. Better than Burnside and Regan!

Come on BBC. You've got a top show and you only give us 6 to 8 weeks of quality but year round tosh like Casualty!

Sort it out or you'll have a face like a baboons arse with a tash on it.

Fire up the Quattro Raymondo, me oops are going colder than a polar bears balls.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Zer vill be no toasters!!!


Attention please.
A Northern police force in which I serve has decided in its infinite wisdom that toasters are a dangerous fire risk.
In a covert overnight swoop all toasters have been removed from offices and KITCHENS!
They have been confiscated and are currently impounded at an undisclosed secure location.
An immediate appeal was lodged by officers and staff in protest at no longer being able to partake of toasted teacakes and the like.
However, the ACC of said force said "I'm chair of the health and safety committee and the decision stands. They're dangerous pieces of equipment and pose a potential fire risk so you can't have em back!"
Apparently we've been told to use the grill inside the oven.
Wait a cotton picking minute....
Oven!!!
They get quite hot don't they....?
SHHH!!!
I think the committee heard that.
Next week Ovengate!